How does caregiving for your partner often affect romantic relationships? - Diane M. Rowles, MS, NP

There’s a number of things to talk about with patients in regards to this. And one is generally when someone is wrapped up with a new injury, and they’re hospitalized and health care providers are saying, “Somebody’s got to learn your care,” we always think of the significant other to be the caregiver. And I always tell my patients, “you know, it’s important that your significant other knows the care, because what if your caregiver doesn’t show up?” Or, I always tell people, “what if you want to go to Australia for four-months, and you don’t want to take a caregiver, you know, an extra airplane fare, pay for another hotel room and everything because of the cost.” So, it’s important that a significant other knows how to do the care. But it doesn’t have to be the significant other that is the primary caregiver. Like we talked about, relationships are tough enough, and sometimes it’s very hard to be the caregiver and the lover. So generally, I talk with patients, and if they want me to, their significant other, and we talk about their decision as a partner set—is the caregiver and lover role combined going to work here or is it not? And if it’s going to be a big challenge, then we need to find somebody else to help do the care. A lot of that is going to depend on finances, it’s going to depend on availability of someone else, but generally you can find someone else to come in and do the care. When I talk to a lot of my patients and their significant others, some will say, “we would rather spend the money having somebody come into do the bowel routine, do the shower, so we can focus on being lovers.” Other people say, “You know, doing the care doesn’t really bother me, we’d rather spend that money going out to dinner, or having two vacations a year.” So, it really comes down to the partner set.